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Flirting Tips – Part One
Flirting is somewhat misunderstood. The challenge is that flirting is done differently by every person and the signals being given are perceived differently from person to another. The good news is that you can learn to understand flirting better so you never make a fool of yourself again by not reading the signals right. In this first part of Flirting Tips, we wanted to provide some general guidelines.
Remember, women flirt more subtle than men do. Typically, a man will make it obvious that he is flirting while a woman uses soft moves. Therefore, it is imperative that you learn to pay close attention. While it would be easier if a woman would just come right out and say, “I’m flirting with you”, that will not happen so a man needs to be attentive. For the woman, understand that men are more typically more overbearing and just trying to get to know you.
- Repeated Contact – If you run into a person you find interesting and he/she says hello, count that as one contact. If he/she then says two or three more things to you, he/she is flirting. The person may say something the second time like, “I like your hair” and the third time, “Have you been here before?” While subtle, these are flirtations!
- Positioning – If you go out with the intention of meeting someone, make sure you sit with your other men or women buddies or make it obvious that any man or woman at your table is with one of the people at your table and not you. In other words, if a woman sees you sitting next to another woman, even if conversation is casual, she is going to assume you are with her. By sitting with men or keeping men on either side of you when a woman friend is at the table, you look available.
- Whispering – When talking to someone, avoid being loud and brass. Instead, talk quietly, even whispering something in his/her ear. Even if all you say is, “You look nice”, he/she will love the fact that you wanted him/her to know something special – a secret if you will.
- Personality – NEVER act like a cocky jerk or conceited person. You need to approach a person using a big smile and your personality. If you appear arrogant, that individual will be turned off immediately. However, if you make yourself interesting and friendly, the person will quickly let the guard down.
- Rejection – If there is a person you are interested in meeting but another person that you are not interested in approaches your table, you can be sure the way in which you handle the situation will be watched. For this reason, you want to be nice and respectful to the individual you do not like, letting him/her know that you are not interested. That way, the person you do want to meet will see that you are approachable but also selective about the person you want to be with.
- Buddy System – Both women and men have a special system of finding out if anyone is interested. For this, you and a friend can meander through a crowd while your friend keeps an eye on which man or woman is looking at you.
- Eye Contact – Most importantly is eye contact. When you look into a person’s eyes and put a smile on your face, you are letting that one person know – “you are special”.
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